Hopefullness denied

So, over the past six months I’ve interviewed for a number of jobs. Previously in my life, pretty well any job I interviewed for, I got an offer, some of which I turned down. A couple of exceptions, but… I wash up nice, and people tend to like me. Recently though, my shine appears to have dimmed. There was one job I really wasn’t keen on, and it must have come through in my style, as I got feedback that I appeared distant and cool. Three others though, I walked out of the interview thinking it had gone really well, that I’d connected with the other person, and the conversation had been good.

On one I was told I hadn’t asked many questions, so clearly wasn’t interested. On another that I was too nice, and the organisation was a bit hardnosed so I likely wouldn’t be a good fit. On the third I had feedback that I was great, intelligent, interesting, but missing that bit of experience they were really looking for. WTF? Its been a real blow to my self esteem.

Logically I tell myself that I hadn’t prepared enough, or been engaging enough, and (to be honest with myself) I really hadn’t asked many questions in the first. Still, to be rejected time and time again is not a pleasant experience. It has made me very sympathetic to all those new university grads who interview and interview and interview and just can’t get a job. It hurts.

So… today I had the final round with the chairman for a job I really… really want. Great company, really interesting people, good remit to make some waves. I think it went well, but then I often has. He ended it saying that he had a good feeling about our meeting and about me, but he had other people to interview and would be in touch.

I am sitting here trying not to get too hopeful, that the market is tough, and competition for senior jobs tougher. I’ll be up against extremely well qualified and articulate individuals. I am trying very hard not to be hopeful, to take it on the chin as another life learning if the news goes against me. That I will just walk on and not be crushed by another rejection.

Which I will of course, as that is what you have to do.

But… if you think well of me, say a prayer, blow a kiss, think positive thoughts, anything you can think of… Cause I … really … want this job, and those others, I kind of didn’t.

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