On the growing of children

On coming back to blogging, one thing I’ve done is go back and read my old posts. Fascinating, and sometimes a little dull. I had a lot of really nice weekends. The kids were also very young, and I’m bemused by some of my perceptions of them then. They are all three young adults now, all have flown the coop. Two have graduated, one is early on in the university journey. I am blessed with solid relationships with all three, but very different relationships.

Pirate Pete is now a working engineer in a start up company. Frankly a fantastic first job for an engineer. He has his own appartment and is just shy of a four year relationship with the same woman. Because of my background he has (as do his siblings) Canadian citizenship. He choose to go to uni in Canada, and his first job is out there. As I moved continents, its hard to complain about the distance. I still don’t like seeing him much. We do regular video calls, which is a helpful, if thin gruel, substitute. The girlfriend is Canadian, but we like her very much. She’s a good match, but its a university relationship, which is either lifelong, or maybe might not be. Time will tell.

There is not much closed between PP and I. We talk about anything and everything. Based on some experiences he had in his teens, where I was there to listen and support, he is very open about things. Despite the difference we have a pretty close and deep relationship. I am also very much enjoying the man he is becoming. Though very much his own person, there is a lot of me in him. Some things not too, but that is what makes him… him. At the moment, the highest chance of grand babies, though not for some years. If that happens, and he is still in Canada, LL and I have agreed we will find some way to spend a lot of time nearby.

Ali Baba has only just graduated this summer, and is in the hard grind of trying to find a job. He focused on environment and sustainability in his degree, and it is not a bad place to be. It is also a hard market out there. AB is very deeply shy, open, loyal and playful with friends, you don’t become a friend easily. He is a bit of a closed book, where PP and I talk about emotions, AB just never ever goes there. Still he is a happy boy overall, some shades of darkness he went through when young have not resurfaced (that I know of…). I still watch and worry.

All three kids are super athletes. PP played rugby until a couple years ago and has two national titles to his name. It was always just fun for PP. Rugby for AB is a passion. He loves the game and has been good enough to play for Canada at a number of age groups. However… it is a rough sport, and in the last two years he had a persistent injury that has forced him out of playing. Surgery is required, and he is waiting on a date for that. I know this hurts him deeply, as he literally hates not playing. Life is hard sometimes.

The Princess, hereafter known as the Warrior Princess (WP) has been a revelation to me growing up. I look back to my old posts and shake my head at my writing that she is the least like me and more like her mum. I could not have been more wrong, there is very much of me in her. She is still her own person, but we are thick as thieves, oft to the bemusement and incredulity of LL. One will crack half a joke and the other will burst into laughter. We will both cry at the same point in a movie. If she goes to the doctor, whatever the reason from birth control to other problems, I am usually there with her at her request.

There are differences. I am perhaps absurdly over confident, she sometimes brushes off her success as being unimportant because, well, she did it, so how can it be great. This from a young woman who competes for Britain in a martial art, and managed to get into medical school. I had an old friend say with a roll of her eyes that my dear daughter is a classic overachiever, which is kind of true, but WP doesn’t see herself that way. This is a girl who forgot to tell a close friend that she was going to the world championships because, well it couldn’t have been that hard otherwise how did she achieve it.

So, I love all three, feel blessed that I have been able to be a part of their growing up, and I will enjoy ever second of their adulthood.

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