Tired tired tired

Oh I am tired this morning. Had to get up at 5 to make an early morning meeting in the city. A contract to sort out. My suppliers, they of the downing of tools variety, are starting another phase, and another of their artificial contract deadlines is looming. I can understand the argument of needing a contract given they have started the work, but we’ve proven ourselves a good client. Yet again threatening to down tools if we don’t sign is aggravating beyond belief. If they do it again I know what the internal reaction will be, we may very well throw them out of the building. It would be cutting off our nose to spite our face, but mine is not a company that takes commercial threats kindly.

And I have a cold, in the middle of summer. Its been too hot to sleep well, and now its cooled off I have a cold. Unlike a normal person, who would probably take a day or too off and recover, I’m up early to go argue with a supplier on issues that shouldn’t be issues. I will not likely finish the day until seven or eight and get home too late to see my children again.

For the most part I enjoy my job, but there are times when I have to look at myself. Why do I drive so hard that I miss out on the other things in life I enjoy so much? I deprive myself and my family of my time. Yes, I provide well for them, as does my wife, but is it worth it? I try to compensate and keep weekends sacrosanct family time, but that in many ways adds to the strain and I just end up tired all the time.

An unanswerable question. I work hard because I work hard. It has its own rewards, many not financial. So nose to the grindstone again boy.

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