As mentioned yesterday, I’ve now been officially married 10 years. Wendz joked she felt like slinking off with all these long term couples around. She shouldn’t, absolutely shouldn’t, not even in jest. Some marriages just aren’t meant to be, the two individuals are better off apart, literally, than together. Some couples are naturals, two parts of the same whole. Then there’s the rest of us, that make compromises, struggle along, but find life together on the whole better.
That’s me and LL. We’ve had our problems, we’ve made our comprimises, and you know what? I can honestly say I love her more now, with all that history, than I did at the start when it was new and shiny. Oh sure, I know we have hurdles yet to jump over, there will be challenges and grief, but there is still that partnership to look forward to.
We do better together than alone. Luckily we’ve managed our work troubles and depressions to mostly not coincide. That’s important, it means one of us can help support the other. Heaven help us if we both get depressed at the same time. We’re also there for each other, if only to listen, at the end of a hard day.
There are the practical things. Two incomes and one set of expenses mean we’re financially better off together than apart. It means a set of chores shared. It means being able to cover those times when someone absolutely needs to be there without both of us needing to be there. It means decisions shared, therefore risk shared, therefore failure shared (and most definitely the opposite, with success shared).
Then there is having a warm body to hold. Even if its just a quick cuddle and a kiss. Better if its some time together uninterrupted (which is not always easy with kids in the house…). Having someone you fancy, someone you know how to please and knows how to please you is wonderful. It may not always be heart thumping headboard banging rumpy pumpy, but its always good.
Last but by no means least, is the kids. Arguably the reason we got together. We met in our early thirties. Both of us knew, and said, we wanted a family. We were clearly looking for the same thing. There’s more to it of course, we not only wanted a partner for kids, but someone who liked the same things and was fanciable, but starting a family was at the core.
That’s in many ways the best bit, the kids. We’re both mad in love with our offspring. Not always the perfect parent perhaps. I’ve been known to be too tired to play, and LL’s temper can over react to small things. Yet I think we’re good parents. Our kids are happy, and seem to be growing up cheerful and learning. They react and behave well to those around them. We’ll give them the best we can, then sit back and delight in the people they become.
So, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, here’s to the woman I love, my LL.