A short break from the answering of questions. It was our ninth anniversary yesterday. Though we’ve lived together longer than that, the 21st marks another turn of time since we became official under the law and the eyes of god. I’m rather proud of it really.
I know many have been together longer. Up until my father died my parents had been married 52 years. My in laws are coming up on 45. So, we have a ways to go yet. Still, nine years is more than many, and I’m proud of it.
We’ve had our dark times. Last year was probably the worst when we spent a time just angry with each other. I won’t go into the details, and the anger had roots in other things. LL, having had three children rapidly, had hit a glass ceiling at work in a fairly overt way. I had a boss who was a bully. Essentially we were getting lost in not talking to each other, even the sex drained away.
Yet we overcame it, and though we have our spats and annoyances with each other, I can say quite honestly we’re happy with each other right now. Those annoyances are funny things, because they are very predictable. Discounting that hormonally driven time of the month when I batten down the hatches and just ride through whatever she takes in mind to use to vent those chemically driven emotions, there are times we frustrate each other (whew, what an ugly sentence (in more ways than one…)).
I can be very absent minded. I never forget things, I just don’t always remember in a timely fashion. I am also a professional domestic procrastinator. There are a host of little jobs I’d just rather leave for tomorrow in a vain hope the fairies will complete them for me. It never happens, but I do live in hope. I am also not particularly talented on the DIY front. Oddly she is, but though she is a thoroughly modern woman, there are things that are a man’s job, no matter how uselessly I do them.
For her part, my wife has a mercurial temper. Even when it isn’t that time of the month, she can explode over tiny things that clearly just finally get to her. I don’t always understand why they get to her. She also has the most amazing habit of just deciding something needs doing. No matter what other time pressures there may be, guests coming, children to get out the door, its time for bed, what ever, she’ll just suddenly decide that bookshelf needs reorganised. What particularly drives me batty is when she’s in that mood, she gets distracted and suddenly she’s trying to complete three impossible tasks at once. She just won’t stop until they’re done either.
Still, for all that I love her, and know I am loved. She is bright (very), articulate, and practical to a fault. Her sense of taste, loves of music and drama, and passions for history and politics match my own. She is beautiful, with deep green eyes I can loose myself in. Though we can both get intensely tired with work and kids, and don’t make love nearly so much as either of us would like, we do pretty well in bed too. There are many things we’ve tried sexually, many more we discretely talk about. Whether we do them or not, we know how to make each other burn.
So, here’s to the love of my life. Nine years, and with a bit of luck, a fair wind and a lot of talk, many, many more.